


a fire without a spark

by crownedcarl



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Miscommunication, Pining, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 06:25:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12126474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crownedcarl/pseuds/crownedcarl
Summary: Liam asksare you alright?and it never occurs to Theo that Liam could be asking him, too.





	a fire without a spark

**Author's Note:**

> au of 6.18/6.19. title from a softer world, 292. canon deviations & teenage boy angst ahead!

Theo comes out of the tunnels with Mason’s arm slung across his shoulders, hanging off of Theo as dead weight. It doesn’t matter that he feels half dead on his feet, himself; Mason is human and fragile, and if Theo stops supporting him he’ll crumple to the ground, limp as a discarded ragdoll.

He couldn’t take Mason’s pain - can’t figure out why he so desperately wanted to, when he would’ve been fine if he left Mason behind - but Theo can carry him, so he does. It’s a slow, arduous trip back to the car, Mason slurring his words as he whisper-shouts into Theo’s ear, getting more incoherent by the minute. The bleeding has slowed, which means Theo feels more than justified in roughly shoving Mason into the passenger seat, rolling his eyes as Mason mumbles “You forgot to buckle me in.”

“I’m not your mother,” he snaps. He still fastens the seatbelt, though; he can’t have Mason splattered all over the windshield after nearly getting himself killed to save Mason’s skin.

The drive is quiet, except for Mason asking Theo insistently to let Corey know to meet them at the clinic and telling Theo, repeatedly, to hurry up. After the third time, his hands are gripping the steering wheel so tight he thinks he might snap it clean off. “Shut up,” he tells Mason, “We’ll be there soon and your boyfriend will kiss it all better, alright? Happy?”

Mason makes a noise of reluctant agreement and Theo thinks that he’s finally going to shut up, for once, except those hopes are dashed to pieces when Mason’s gaze lands on him, a little clearer than before, asking “Why’d you save me?”

He can’t pretend he didn’t hear it, but the question makes him uncomfortable. Whatever answer he gives won’t be good enough. Mason is still going to see the person who screwed them all over and tried to destroy them, so Theo sighs “Because I had to,” and leaves it at that.

“No, but _why,_ though?”

This time, Theo doesn’t answer.

It’s another couple of miles to go. Mason manages to stay awake for a little while longer, breathing heavily, and Theo’s heart jumps into his fucking throat when Mason whispers “It’s not working, you know. He’s never going to forget what you are. He’s never going to give you what you want.”

“No good deed, huh?” Theo laughs, but it’s a tight, strained sound. “I figured. Thanks for the reminder.”

Mason’s glancing at him, glassy-eyed and tight-lipped. “You really care,” he says in wonderment, and it sounds more like a question than a statement.

“I get it,” Theo finally says, after Mason’s finally dropped into unconsciousness. “He’s your best friend. You’re right, though, so you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

It’s easier to talk to people when he knows they aren’t listening and can’t hold it against him, later. Theo stares straight ahead at the black road. “He’s never going to see me that way,” he says, and drives.

-

Liam’s hands take Mason from his arms after Theo painstakingly drags him inside the clinic. He can see Scott and Malia, standing close to each other, and Lydia talking Corey down from an apparent panic attack. He rushes for Mason in the same moment that Liam does but Liam gets there first, gripping Mason steadily and leading him over to a chair. It makes Theo stop and stare at the way Liam’s excruciatingly gentle with Mason, grabbing him from Theo’s grip, his harsh glare all but saying _I don’t trust you with him,_ and Theo really can’t blame him.

Nobody asks him what happened. Nobody's fussing over Theo the way they are over Mason, but that figures. He's a chimera. He'll heal, sooner or later, and it'll be like it never happened, like the pain was never real. The stench of fear is suffocating, but Theo refuses to let it show.

“Are you alright?” Liam asks, but Mason’s too out of it to answer. Theo shrugs, rubbing his bloodied palms on his jeans.

“He will be,” he tells Liam, turning around to slip out of his ruined shirt and into one of the sweatshirts Scott’s taken to stashing at the clinic. The fabric is soft and warm with body heat; Scott must've known somebody else would be needing it. “Don’t worry. He'll be alright.”

There’s a moment of pregnant pause. Theo turns around to see Liam frowning at him, something almost guilty in his stare. “I meant both of you,” Liam sighs. “Are _you_ alright?”

All Theo can do for a second is stare. It takes a moment to realize that Scott's at his side, keeping Theo on his feet when his knees suddenly feel like they're about to buckle, and the rush of embarrassment at being coddled makes Theo shove Scott away and mutter "Better than he is, obviously," only to immediately regret his words. Liam's gaze sharpens, hostile all over again.

"Sorry for giving a damn," he mutters, and Theo almost flinches.

-

Corey is trailing after him.

Theo's known he's been there since he got inside his truck and caught Corey's scent in the backseat, but he hasn't bothered to call him out on it, yet. Being spied on makes his skin crawl, but he tempers his frustration and leaves the door open as he enters the abandoned building he's been squatting in; even a warehouse with no heat or running water beats sleeping in the car. "You're not coming in?" he asks, glaring at the empty space where he knows Corey is hovering. "Come out, come out, wherever you are..."

"Alright!" Corey groans, "You got me."

Theo is never going to get used to seeing him materialize out of thin air. He's seen stranger things in his life, but this is still new. It feels odd, standing there and staring awkwardly at each other, waiting for someone to speak.

"I wanted to thank you," Corey rushes to say, "And check if you were alright. You don't look so good, you know."

It baffles him, Corey still giving a damn. After everything Theo put him through, he's more than entitled to be angry, but he's not. He's too soft; that's what Theo used to think, after seeing Corey change. He's always had a lot of heart.

His cuts have closed, by now, sweatshirt flecked with a few drops of blood, but beyond that, Theo's almost back to normal. "I did what I had to do," he tells Corey, "Don't thank me for that. You know better."

A tense shrug confirms it: Corey's apology is a formality. "I really _did_ want to check on you, though," he insists, fiddling with the strings of his hoodie. "You smelled...I don't know. Off."

Theo very nearly laughs, but reigns it in. "Did Scott put you up to this?" he prods, "Check in and make sure I'm not passed out on the floor? That's sweet, really. It warms my heart, but I'm fine. I don't need a babysitter."

"Scott didn't ask me," Corey scowls, sounding insulted. "Liam did."

Theo's heartbeat stutters.

"I heard that," and, christ, is that delight in Corey's voice? "I'm not surprised. You're kind of obvious."

Corey is laughing but it's not funny, _nothing_ is funny right now and Theo's mouth forms a snarl, teeth flashing.

"Oh," he hears Corey say, laughter dying off. "Oh, you - I'm sorry. Honestly. He _did_ ask me to come but I was already halfway out the door, and you...don't really seem alright, Theo. You really don't."

He doesn't need people worrying about him. What Theo needs right now is to be alone, given a moment to gather himself and breathe, but Corey's still standing there and staring at Theo with the face of a kicked puppy. It makes him feel almost guilty - it's always _almost_ , not quite there yet, never able to care the way people are supposed to. It lingers in the back of his head, the faint guilt of making Corey look like that, until Theo can't keep himself from saying "Forget about it, already. It's fine. I'm fine."

"But you're not," Corey argues, "And I'm sorry."

He means it, and Theo doesn't know what to do with that. It's a dizzying realization, the fact that the only people in the world who care about him aren't the ones he expected them to be. There's that gnawing guilt again, reminding him that he almost destroyed all this light.

Corey is almost out the door when he turns around, looking at Theo with what's almost a smile, but not quite. Theo hasn't earned that, yet. "Look," Corey starts, "For whatever it's worth, I know he cares."

"Yeah?" Theo asks, "How'd you figure that out?"

The two of them aren't friends. Corey's got no reason to play nice with him, and it almost irritates Theo, the fact that the kid never breaks, walking around with an endless supply of freely-given smiles, people gravitating towards him like moths to a flame. It's more envy than anything else, if he's being honest.

He swears there's laughter sparkling in Corey's eyes when he says "He's kind of obvious, too," and Theo's heart does that thing again: it skips a beat.

-

"How do you do it?" he asks Scott, out of the blue.

It's no wonder Scott shoots him a look that lands between concern and surprise. In the hours they've been patrolling Beacon Hills, Theo hasn't said much. It's been a tense affair, sitting next to each other with Theo's mistakes hanging heavy over his head, both of them silently agreeing not to speak, but Theo can't help himself. The question's out of his mouth before he can take it back.

"Do what?" Scott asks, eternally patient, but with an edge to his voice that Theo can't help but wince at. He knows he doesn't deserve Scott's forgiveness, not in a million years, but there's nobody else that he can ask - at least, nobody else who wouldn't tell on him. It feels childish, being so concerned with what everyone thinks, but it's not like Theo can afford to lose any more respect from Scott and his friends.

Theo stares out the window, unable to meet Scott's questioning eyes. "The part where you're brave," Theo elaborates, "Even when you're terrified. How do you do it?"

He's been wondering about that since day one. Scott's gone up against a lot of enemies, and he's the one left standing. He didn't fold under the threat of the Dread Doctors, and he didn't lose his head during the Wild Hunt. He's still keeping his calm, despite the darkness encroaching on Beacon Hills, and Theo envies him for it. He almost left Mason to die after the fear had seized him; Scott would never do that, not even to him.

"Oh," Scott eventually says, sounding like he's had a revelation. "I have to. That's how."

"You have to," Theo echoes, turning his head to look at Scott. It's such a simple answer, but it's not what he's looking for. He's seen the way Scott and Malia gravitate towards each other, the way their hands brush without meaning to, the way they communicate without words. It makes a desperate longing constrict his throat, bearing witness to that kind of tenderness. "That's it?"

"Yeah," Scott laughs, soft and sheepish. "I'm not that brave, Theo. It's a lot easier to run than to stand and fight, and...I've been tempted."

That's a surprise. "What makes you stay?"

Scott's looking out the window, into the trees. "The people I love," he says. "The people I'd die to protect. We're stronger together."

It's another reminder of Theo not belonging, an outsider looking in. "Thanks," he mutters, "I guess."

A few minutes pass in silence. They're about due to head back when Scott opens his mouth, looking like he's struggling to find the right words. "It matters," he tells Theo, "The knowing. Even if you think it's gonna end badly, it matters. You should tell him."

"I'm not you, Scott," Theo chuckles, "I'm never going to be _that_ brave."

-

Liam's finally speaking to him again.

Theo knows he'll screw it up, sooner or later, by saying something without thinking. Every time he thinks he's making progress, it's one step forward and two steps back.

The two of them are out in the woods. "I can't control the shift," Liam told him, and Theo didn't question him about it. He knows the Anuk-Ite's influence is sinister and far-reaching; after a front-row view to Liam losing his temper and his control, Theo barely makes fun of him as they walk across the dead leaves, sticking to his silence.

"You're being weird," Liam accuses, hands buried deep in his pockets. "Are you mad at me or something?"

Theo snorts, stopping himself before it becomes a mocking laugh. "You're the one that's mad at _me_ ," he reminds Liam, "It's not like I can be angry at someone who's never there."

He doesn't realize he's cut deep until Liam stops in his tracks, expression wavering into something shockingly vulnerable. "Well, yeah," he mumbles, "You pissed me off. You didn't have to _disappear_ , though. I tried calling."

Liam's anger is predictable, in a way, since Theo realized Liam gets angry when he gets scared. The fact that he gets angry around Theo is something he doesn't like to dwell on, uncomfortable with the implications, but Liam's not angry, now. He's a little mean, yeah, but not angry.

"...you did?" Theo has to ask. He doesn't bother checking his phone, anymore, when Scott's more likely to track him down in person when Theo's needed, and he'd half-forgotten that Liam had his number, anyway. "Didn't catch that."

"Seriously?" Liam asks, "That's it? You don't want to know _why_ I kept calling, over and over, after you stormed out like a drama queen?"

"Why do you care that I left?" Theo snaps, because if Liam really gave a damn, he wouldn't keep sending Corey to check in. He'd do it himself. "I'm not in your pack and I'm not your _friend_. Why does it matter?"

"You're right," Liam scowls, "You're not my friend. I don't want you to be my friend."

 _Real pain is emotional pain._ Theo's known that for years, and it's perversely funny, the way it's all come full circle. Liam's breath hitches when Theo's heart starts beating faster, something ugly flooding his veins. "Yeah," he concedes. "I got it."

"Oh my _god_ ," Liam almost shouts, "You're not seriously _that_ stupid?"

Theo backs up a step - doesn't want to end up with a thrice-broken nose all over again, not when Liam's fuming and stalking closer, eyes flashing briefly gold. "Leave it alone," Theo warns him, "Seriously, don't-"

Liam has warm hands. Warm hands and a soft mouth. The shock of his teeth clashing against Theo's own makes him gasp, and Liam's pressing closer, bordering between gentle and desperate, cradling Theo's face in his hands, thumb stroking across the high point of a cheekbone.

"I'm not leaving it alone, jackass," Liam mutters, right up against Theo's mouth. "I'm not leaving _you_ alone."

Theo can't think of anything to say to that; it shivers down his spine, the promise Liam's making. "You split my lip."

"Sorry," Liam says. He doesn't sound it, still chasing Theo's mouth. "You'll heal."

He really can't argue with that, and Theo goes through the painful effort of pushing Liam away, out of breath, distracted by Liam's kiss-swollen lips. "What am I supposed to do with this?" he asks, because Mason made it clear that Liam would never be able to look past all the damage Theo has inflicted, but Corey was singing a different tune. Theo thinks that maybe both of them were right, in their own ways. "We're not on the same page. It's not gonna work out."

Liam's blinking at him, a troubled crease between his brows. "Which page are you on, exactly?"

"You know," Theo evades. "You'd be an idiot not to."

It's the most vulnerable he's ever been, waiting for Liam to make a decision. His heart is beating too fast, too loud, and Liam's looking at him like the whole damn world suddenly makes sense, a smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. His laugh doesn't sound mean at all, but Theo doesn't dare to hope for anything more than the memory of a kiss to keep him warm at night.

"You make me so angry," Liam huffs, "Because you scare me. Because I worry about you, and I notice when you're not around. Hey, tell me something. Where am I when I'm not at home or with the others?"

"You're with me," Theo says, and it takes a second for his brain to catch up with his mouth, and another for his body to cooperate, hands traveling up Liam's arms to grip his shoulders. "You're with me," he repeats, the surprise softening his voice.

"I am," Liam promises, and it's not easy to believe him, but maybe Scott was right. Maybe Theo can afford to be brave, this one time.

Liam closes his eyes when Theo leans in; it's something he never thought he'd see, Liam being comfortable enough to let his guard down around him, but he does, and Theo kisses the corner of his mouth before pulling back, their noses bumping. It makes Liam laugh, soft as summer rain.

"There you go," Theo hears Liam whisper, "Same page, after all."

When Theo starts laughing, Liam laughs, too, his hands in Theo's hair, their chests pressed flush together. "You scare the hell out of me, too," Theo whispers, knowing Liam will understand what he's really saying without Theo having to spell it out.

("You're his anchor, dumbass," Corey said, once, after he started coming by the warehouse more often. "Don't tell me you haven't noticed.")

With Liam's mouth against his own, the woods don't seem so dark, anymore, and Theo thinks he's finally learning what it feels like to be loved: free and unafraid.


End file.
